I honestly don't remember the last time I took a personal leave.

[Private] That's a lie...it must have been my honeymoon with Julie...[/Private]

I spent the last couple of days up in Albany with my brother, Scott, and his wife. They just had their first child, a baby boy, and they couldn't be happier. Pretty much the entire family made their way to visit, I haven't seen such a turnout for a family event in years.

[Private] It's events like this that make me worry about Zach. To see all the familiar faces but his was hard. I could tell that it was really effecting my parents as well, as much as my mother would dispute that fact. She tries to not think about him often, it hurts too much. [/Private]


So, to answer any questions: yes, I am alive, despite what rumors Dr. House may have been passing along.

I never know whether to be relieved or unnerved when I'm not up to my eyeballs in work. One the plus side, there's time to breathe and relax. I don't think that my CD player here has been used in months so it was nice to brush the dust off of it. Then, on the other side, less work means less patients, either due to treatments proving to be futile or the inevitable...

It seems too quiet here...and by too quiet, I mean nothing heavy has been slamming up against my balcony door...now that's certainly unnerving. I feel like I should be watching my back around every corner at this rate...

Ugh, what a long day. Once I get through with this paper work (which I'm currently doing a stupendous job of avoiding by messing around on this thing) I need to get out of here. A bit of relaxation and, if it chooses to come, sleep would be a good plan about now.

[Private]

Well, the divorce has finally gone through. We met early this morning, signed the papers, and it's official. I nearly wanted to scream as we left the building. Julie asks me if I'm okay and wraps me in a hug. I think that has to be one of the only times that I've gone completely rigid at even the very thought of physical contact. At first I thought that April was, and always would be the hardest to get over, but this....I don't know why, but it's like a harsh blow to the stomach that aches and doesn't seem to subside.

To make matters worse, my 5:00 meeting left me wanting to lock my door and not come out. One can sometimes seperate most to all feeling while delivering such news, but there are always the cases that hit hard. I had to inform seven-year-old Jessica Sawtelle and her mother that the girl's leukemia was worsening, chemotherapy was not currently effective, and the treatment process was not looking promising at all. Merely a month ago, Jessica was positively beaming about her mother finally letting her take dance lessons. She was nearly spinning around the room, and if I didn't have her file in front of me, I'd hardly guess that she was dying. She might not even see the recital.

This is just too much for one day. I need to get home (It still doesn't quite feel like home, but I suppose that just takes time) and just try and get things off my mind for a little while.

[/Private]

I think that I now have a personal vendetta against window mounted air conditioners.

The new apartment is finally starting to come together. The location is nice and the neighborhood is relatively quiet. Mrs.....Roberts? Robertson? I've forgotten her name. Anyway, the elderly woman who lives across the hall has presented me with more cookies than I think a person is phycially able to ingest.

Sitting here now, I realize that the place is still looking rather empty. Note to self: work on that later when there's no risk of heat exhaustion.

[Private]

Had a meeting with Julie and the divorce attorney early this morning to go over a few things. Mostly we studied some specifics from the prenup agreement; questions of other possessions should be wrapped up in the next week or so. I've already told her that she can keep the apartment, which would have been the biggest concern, so at least that is out of the way. I can't wait for this all to be over, though it's easier to deal with Julie's disapproving looks when I know that I only have to be subject to them for about an hour or so, as opposed to coming home to it.

[/Private]